Why is nobody picking Shen?

As a based top lane island enjoyer, I welcomed the teleport changes.

No longer will top lane be decided by who teleports botlane and gets two kills - instead, it will be decided how it should be. By whose jungler ganks first, and who picks second in champ select.

There's just one issue. And his name is Shen, the little ninja scrote.

"You're probably not ever winning lane against some of the ranged tops, but what's beating Gnar, Graves, Jayce and the like in lane anyway?"
Great point, whoever said that. Oh, it was me.

The king of macro

When everyone is building Hullbreaker and still having to teamfight, Shen is the perfect antidote. He can hold the split against pretty much any of the meta tops - just ban Gwen, but you should do that anyway - and will be much faster in getting to the teamfight in that case. He'll also be more useful than a Hullbreaker Gnar or Tryndamere.

We see Sions and the like from time to time but there a lot of spots where Shen can be a genuine threat. Even when he's not winning lane, he has that TF effect where the enemy bot cannot make a play after 6. Now that teleporting bot is much harder, it's so much harder to match Shen's ultimate and win through bot.

You WILL lose plates, and the enemy top laner WILL be strong - but it's a less extreme version of the Janna top. You still farm, you're still a useful tank, and you're still a top laner - but your bot lane will almost certainly be stronger. 

Until Pyke top is back in meta, Shen is going to have to do, big man.

You're probably not ever winning lane against some of the ranged tops, but what's beating Gnar, Graves, Jayce and the like in lane anyway?

It's not like pro top laners aren't used to playing eunuch champions anyway; we still have to watch Gragas, Ornn and Renekton from time to time. Shen is somewhat akin to an AD version of Gragas - decent amount of skill expression, very safe, provides CC and peel for his carries.

With the added benefit of having the broken teleport. 

Like, fnatic could easily bust it out in playoffs. Everyone knows they're going to play through bot anyway, why pretend otherwise? Shen is also a great pairing with Xin Zhao, who is near universal. Shen/Xin Zhao/AP mid and then just let Upset and Hylissang carry the hell out of you.

Maybe it's just ego, maybe I'm missing something (doubtful), or maybe teams just haven't realised yet. In a meta where nobody can TP bot, the champ who is designed to do just that can reign supreme.

I hate Shen, but he looks destined to come back into the top lane meta in the coming weeks.