Decoding the BS: Vitality blame Selfmade for their shortcomings

Hey everyone. It’s your favourite helmet-adorned astral being here with another dose of anti-bullshit spray.

If you’re new to the format, I take orgs’ PR statements and tell you what they really mean. You get me?

Good. 

LEC Roster update ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/DVXpZzQRN5

— TEAM V1TAL1TY (@TeamVitality) June 6, 2022

Vitality

As we reflect on the LEC Spring Split, we admit that we did not live up to all the expectations we as a team, and the V.Hive community, had for us.

Jaxon

Yes, we get it Reddit. We finished 5th, superteam KEKW, Perkz is washed up. Please shut up.

Vitality

But we are keeping eyes on our to have a successful Summer Split, and to qualify for Worlds 2022. In order to reach our goal, one of the changes we will be making going into the Summer split (sic) is that Oskar ‘Selfmade’ Boderek will no longer be an active member of the starting roster.

Jaxon

Something has to change, and we spent more on the solo-laners. Sunk cost fallacy and all that. 

Why are people acting so surprised when its known for like 2 months XD

— selfmade (@selfmade_LoL) June 6, 2022

Vitality

Selfmade is an incredibly talented player and well liked within the team, but League of Legends is a complex game with many different playstyles that have to come together.

Jaxon

Do… do I even need to translate this?

Selfmade kept trying to ‘farm’ and ‘take objectives’ instead of sitting in a top bush for 45 seconds to counter-gank so Alphari can get a 20CS lead. These playstyles don’t mesh, and we need a little puppy to follow Alphari around instead.

off season hard stuck 😵https://t.co/fZM9wEECp4 pic.twitter.com/iW31y03596

— Barney Morris (@Alphari) April 19, 2022

Vitality

When two different playstyles can’t be mixed well enough it is important to adapt and try new options.

Jaxon

It’s important to adapt and try new options, unless you are a top laner.

Mephisto

Roster changes are never easy, but after evaluating our Spring Split with all of the players, the Team Vitality coaching and team staff felt that the jungle role had the best potential for success if we were to try something new. 

Jaxon

Bot lane is a lost cause, Perkz started to come good and we built the team around Alphari. Who else are we going to cut?

“I want to think Selfmade for all of his contributions to the team, and I wish him nothing but the best in the future”.

Vitality

We believe that Selfmade will be able to shine as the talented player he is on another team, and we will be working closely together with Selfmade to make sure that he lands on a team where he can continue to succeed.

Jaxon

Selfmade is my son’s favourite uncle, and I would never stand in the way of his dream move. Anyway, anyone got Jack Etienne’s number?

Vitality

Finding a replacement jungler was no easy task, and we studied many different players to get the right fit. We believe we have found that fit with the World Championship winner Kang “Haru” Min-Seung joining us in Team Vitality.

Jaxon

We studied many junglers until we found one that was willing to castrate himself for his solo laners, and we hope the man who made even Crown look good can be the guy to help us.

Vitality

Alongside Haru we are also announcing the signing of Zhou “Bo” Yang-bo. We are really excited about the superstar potential Bo has as a jungler.

Jaxon

He’s better than Haru, but he’s too similar to Selfmade for us to justify straight swapping them.

Vitality

We are bringing him in as a substitute jungler to give him the time he needs to acclimate to a new country, culture and a different language.

Jaxon

We need to wait for Alphari’s contract to run out before we can play for a superstar jungler, so ’til then he’s gonna chill out and try every single restaurant in Berlin.