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Asmongold opens up on mental health, living conditions

I’ve been living like an animal for 13 years. So here’s why 20-28 screenshot

Fans of Zack “Asmongold” Hoyt have always criticized the streamer for living in a dirty room despite becoming rich off of his content creation career. Now, Asmongold has revealed that his mental health is why he has been “living like an animal” for over a decade.

Asmongold became popular for his World of Warcraft streams, but quickly became a prominent figure on Twitch for his controversial opinions and concerning living conditions. In the past, he has made headlines for having cockroaches crawl around during a livestream, admitting to letting his teeth rot instead of going to a dentist, and telling his fans not to shower.

In a very personal video, Asmongold decided to answer the ongoing concerns over his lifestyle.

Asmongold’s mental health issues led to living like a “degenerate”

In the video that now has over 1 million views, Asmongold said that he’s always felt different and had a tough time fitting in as a child due to mental health issues. He used to want to follow the rules and make friends, but started to notice that he thought differently than other people. He admitted that “everything he does” is a “learned performance” instead of just naturally knowing what to say and how to act.

An early example from his childhood was Asmongold purposefully hitting a classmate in the face with a ball, causing a broken tooth and bleeding. He recalled being “happy” but all the children around him seemed uncomfortable. This caused him to feel he wasn’t “normal” and started trying to mask his emotions.

The feeling of having to hide his true self continued through middle school and high school, where he also had a tough time finding a romantic relationship. Asmongold joked that being a “Level 60 Warrior” didn’t attract the ladies. But as this all continued, Asmongold said he gave up on “living a normal life or having a family” or even caring what people would think. He even alluded to acts of violence that he was not comfortable sharing with fans as another reason he was better off alone.

Asmongold depression

Despite feeling like an outcast, he always had support from his mother. When she started getting health issues and not being able to pay bills, Asmongold fell into a depression of sorts. His friends were going to college and getting girlfriends but he was worried about his mom’s health and becoming homeless. While discussing his mental health crises, Asmongold admitted that he planned to end his life after high school but “forgot” when Wrath of the Lich King came out.

He said he doesn’t care if people feel bad for him and added it’s not a “sympathy play” and is more hoping fans will understand him better.

Since he figured he would end his life after high school, Asmongold didn’t bother to brush his teeth. All of his teeth rotted out in time due to a lack of brushing and drinking a ton of soda. Most of his teeth had to be pulled out over time due to the unbearable pain this caused him. At this point, he didn’t feel the same as any of his peers but he got used to this feeling and even embraced it.

“I’m happy with how I am. You can’t edit out all the bad parts,” said Asmongold.

Meanwhile, he was making World of Warcraft videos and streaming the game as his mom’s health got worse and worse. Asmongold attempted to get retail jobs and go back to college but WoW proved more lucrative. Plus, the “s—y” retail job was “much s—ier than I thought it would be” so he pivoted plans. That’s when he decided to make YouTube videos about his unorthodox lifestyle.

“Missing half your teeth, living in a dump with a dead rat alarm clock, you don’t know if your mom is going to be alive that day, you have no money to support her and things are getting slowly worse and worse and worse,” said Asmongold, admitting he damaged his life beyond his ability to fix it and wanted to “kill himself.

Asmongold thought he’d be “okay with dying,” but realized as his health got worse that he wasn’t comfortable with the idea as much as he thought. He decided to stop caring about himself and other people as a way to not feel worse and cope with his situation. By not worrying about the issues around him or how people feel, he can do things he wants to do and feel more fulfilled. This is why he says and does questionable things.

Concluded Asmongold about his way to deal with mental health struggles: “I just try to live life and enjoy it. […] I don’t care about going out or having certain life experiences or regretting this. Who cares if you regret this when you’re old? You’re about to die anyway. It doesn’t even matter.”

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